Due to the size of my videos (avg 200 mb), it will some time stop to load/buffer and continue to play... Is there a way for the video to load for some time b4 it starts to play?
That is not a function of SWFObject. It is up to the particular media player you are using to determine buffer time. Check the docs for the media player you are using (be is the official Macromedia/Adobe FLV player or some 3rd party player) and look for a buffertime property.
200mb is absolutely HUGE for a web video and you will probably always have buffering issues. What is the bitrate of the video (ie how much data are you requiring the user to receive per second of video?). It is not the overall file size of the video which is the problem, but the bandwidth the user has to have to deliver a continuous playback stream. If it is more than ~1500kbps then you need to re-encode you video as no normal consumer will be able to play your video smoothly. A tthat file size you should also investigate streaming rather than progressive download as your delivery mechanism.