Whaling: A How To

I just came across this little article talking about whaling. Not the ‘get a big boat and shoot it with a big fucking harpoon‘ kind, but the ‘get a rowboat and a sword and go stab it‘ kind. Crazy.

5. What exactly is the procedure of whaling (with the above-mentioned equipment)?
Row. Halt. Lure the whale to you with song and bate. Carress it. Get a line around its tail or other protrusive parts. Stab it with the sword. It will not die from the first wound, it will go berserk. Hold on to your boat. Whatever happens, hold on to your boat and the whale gets tired and hopefully it looses energy as it bleeds. When it thus calms down, approach it yet again (or, more gracefully, get it to approach you), carress it and stab it. Repeat as needed. Under all normal circumstances, but dependent on the size and age of the whale, it will die within 12 hours from its first wound. Drag the whale to shore (no, whales do not sink upon their death, they float).

Brilliant.

The picture of the guy in the suit and tie is a nice touch as well.

The top 5 albums you’ve never heard

I listen to a lot of music. I’m not one of those people who walk around all day telling everyone that their favorite band sucks or anything, but I like to think that I have pretty good taste when it comes to picking the good stuff.

So here are my picks for the best albums you have probably never heard:

  1. Lali Puna – Faking the Books – A little indie-tronic group that sounds excellent. If you like The Postal Service, Air, or The Notwist, you’ll love this album.
  2. Ms. John Soda – No P. or D. – Another excellent indie-tronic type group… ties to Dntel and The Notwist, kinda mellow electronic.
  3. Modest Mouse – Building Nothing out of Something – I’m sure we’ve all heard their latest abum, Good News For People Who Love Bad News, and maybe even the one before that The Moon & Antarctica, but this one was realeased before they found a major label to carry them. Well worth the hunt to find it.
  4. The Helio Sequence – Young Effectuals – I saw these guys open for Modest Mouse in Tucson a while back, and ended up grabbing their album. Hard to classify the music… It’s a mix between kinda spacey electronic and the singer sounds very much like a young John Lennon (they do a cover of Tomorrow Never Knows that is excellent).
  5. The Books – The Lemon of Pink – When I first listened to this album, I wasn’t really sure what was going on… I forgot about it for a while, thought that maybe it was just a strange dream, but then I gave it another listen. It’s so strange, but a good strange. Really good.